It's been 4 weeks now since I miscarried. About 3 weeks since I started this blog. And, finally, the post which was the reason for why I started this blog.
I needed an outlet for what was going in my head and in my heart. An outlet that would normally be family and friends and my dear husband, but not in this instance. I don't know why.
One Tuesday, I decided to work from home. I had an ultrasound appointment later that day, so it was more efficient to work from home on this day. I had a little bit of bleeding, but I was not too concerned and thought the ultrasound would show that everything was alright. My husband and daughter were also home on that day. Sunday was the magical 12-week mark and I was planning to stop hiding my stomach at work on Thursday as a way to announce our pregnancy.
My husband and daughter decided to go for a walk. And it was while they were away that it happened. A gush of liquid between my legs, a quick dash to the toilet. I look down and, miraculously, away from all of the blood, I saw the foetus - my baby. And that is what haunts me.
So, for now, I am a mother to 1.3. Will I always be a mother to 1.3? Or will I drop the .3 someday? I don't know.
As I wait for the bread to rise and the chicken to cook, here's my contribution to the blog world for the day. To one of my best friend's little one (and to the deserving parents for making it this far with your sanity intact) - Happy Birthday L - "summtin summtin" inside for both you and your folks.
*Sigh* I started this scarf a year ago for my big sister after making another (different) scarf for my lil' sister. It's not difficult and not really time-consuming unless you're already lacking in time. I just picked up a few other hobbies in the new year and left this at the wayside. Now I'm on my way to finishing it (yah!). I'm not too crazy about the colour; I started it when I was in a tan/brown phase and now I'm into BRIGHT BRIGHT LOUD colours. Still - I think my sis will like it.
Here's the work in progress -
A few things about this project :-
- I love my Knit Pro needles for this project. My needle stash is made up of mainly Addis, but on the advise of some sharing member of Ravelry, I decided on the wooden Knit Pro circulars - it's not as slippery.
- Be faithful to filling out your chart as you go along. The pattern is really easy to follow and remember; but a tired and distracted mama and I would forget how many rows I had done since I last marked off my chart.
- Use lifelines!!!!!!!!!
- I'm sure I'll have something to say about blocking when I finish knitting and get around to doing it. I still haven't got the hang of blocking so this will be an experience.
Well, I'm off for a cuddle and a chat in bed with my little one - one of my favourite parts of the day. Good night all.
I've been so consumed with getting back on track - executing projects; laying out plans; setting new goals - that I tend to forget to enjoy the moment. Once in a while I do enjoy the moment and try to capture it so that I can enjoy it again later on. So, here is my 5-second breather before the next task and a memory to enjoy.
One of many daddy/daughter moments - Sunday morning; still in pj's; reading a book together on the balcony.
I have picked up quite a few new hobbies lately- and have found great satisfaction in them. So I loved it when my dear husband found a new hobby for himself. Now I don't feel so bad about spending money on my hobbies if he is doing it as well.
And yes, I shamelessly encouraged him to practice using a theme that would greatly please our little one.
I woke up feeling very restless. Even chocolate could not satisfy me - and I did try every few minutes to see if it would work. I needed a "homemade" fix before we went out to the shops or who knows what I would have bought to get some gratification. So here are my quick cards - general purpose, probably for family. I tried to brighten up the gray, but *shrug* gray is gray.
Actually, while she may be a few years younger than I, my "lil'" sis is about a head taller. We're not in the same country anymore, so rather than a lunch at Yum Cha on a Sunday, I'll be sending her a birthday parcel. Here's my card...
It's a beautiful Monday morning and I'm "wagging" work today - for a variety of reasons, one of which is to indulge in some sewing and knitting time. I got a good start last night, finishing off 2 small pyramid purses. I'm trying out different combinations of interfacing as well as getting a move on with the Christmas presents.
The pyramid purses (courtesy of a free pattern from a wonderful designer Nicole Mallalieu) uses interfacing on both the outside fabric and the lining.
Both purses have been made using a quilting cotton fabric. The purse on the left uses Vilene S320 on the outside fabric and med/heavy interfacing on the lining. The purse on the right uses Vilene S320 on both the outside fabric and the lining. The verdict is still out on which one I Iike best. I have a third one in the making which uses only med/heavy interfacing. And I'm thinking of trialling a fourth one using Vilene S320 on the inside. Hmm...
That's it for now. My first blog post - boring as hell but serves my intended purpose of recording my handmade exploits. I'm off to supplement my chocolate breakfast with something more substantial... maybe some hazelnut chocolate :)